Most people know the obvious signs of physical infidelity. It can be crushing to a relationship to learn (or discover) that your partner has been physically intimate with someone else. However, emotional infidelity isn’t talked about as much. It can be just as damaging and perhaps even more hurtful. It indicates that there’s more to the outside relationship than physical attraction. Unfortunately, emotional infidelity isn’t always as easy to spot as its physical counterpart.

So, let’s take a look at some of the signs and ways you can heal from this kind of emotional behavior.

Sign #1 – A Sudden Interest in New Hobbies

In today’s world, it’s not uncommon for people to meet online. It can make it easy to form a relationship in secret and set up plans without being obvious or getting caught. If your partner has a sudden interest in technology or spends a lot more time on their phone or computer, they could be talking to someone.

Alternatively, if they seem to have a new hobby taking up all of their time, they might be sharing it with someone else or using it as an excuse to meet with that person. While new hobbies aren’t a reason to immediately become suspicious, be aware of where they’re going and how they act when they talk about that specific hobby.

Sign # 2 – They’re Secretive

This is probably the most obvious sign of emotional infidelity and the easiest to spot. Relationships deserve privacy, but if your partner has started to hide things from you or seems extra secretive, it could be a sign of something serious going on. Maybe they don’t want you to see their phone, or they shut their computer screen whenever you’re around. You know your partner’s behaviors. Pay close attention to any sudden changes and whether they’re more concerned about privacy than before.

Sign # 3 –  They’re Withdrawing From You

It’s difficult for someone to fully invest themselves in two people. If your partner is having an emotional affair with someone else, they might start to withdraw from you—physically and emotionally. Maybe they don’t open up to you as much as they once did. Or, maybe they’re not home very often. If that’s the case, it could be that they’re opening up and sharing themselves with someone else. 

How Can You Heal From Emotional Infidelity?

Finding out that your partner is having an emotional affair can be devastating, but it’s possible to heal and move forward. Keep these three tips in mind to work through the pain and deal with the effects of the affair: 

1. Don’t blame yourself. It’s easy to get stuck in a vicious cycle of self-loathing and wondering what you could have done differently. No matter the state of a relationship, no one deserves to be cheated on in any form. 

2. Surround yourself with support. You might be feeling especially lonely and isolated right now. Lean on the people closest to you. Your family and friends are there whether you need a shoulder to cry on or some actionable advice. 

3. Decide if you want to work through the relationship or not. You’re going to have to confront your partner about what you know. But, it’s up to you to decide if you want to continue in the relationship. That’s something you should work through for yourself before having a conversation with your partner. 

Additionally, don’t be afraid to seek out professional help. Emotional infidelity can come as a shock to a lot of people. You could experience everything from trauma and anxiety to depression and grief. Don’t feel like you have to process those emotions alone. 

If you’ve recently discovered that your partner is having an emotional affair, feel free to contact me. You’re not on your own, and things will get better. Couples counseling can help you move forward.